if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
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It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Alive.
So much puke
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize