I bet he comes in French.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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