Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
