Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
