Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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