Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
