normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
True college students do jello shots in the library
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