Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
