How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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