Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
