He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
