so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
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Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
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Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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