I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
