Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
My vagina just clenched in fear
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
