I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
