so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
