I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
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