Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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