I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
