I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
