honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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