Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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