yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
