i think my mom watched the whole time
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Fuck appropriateness.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Randomize
