I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize