I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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