i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
