He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
