I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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