This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
