he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
