All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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