there's paper in my vomit.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
My balls are so social today.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
