That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
