I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
