Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
this is an emotional support booty call
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
