i just wanna soil my oats bro
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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