i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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