went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
