READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
