She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
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so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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