with your own penis?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
