Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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