ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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