Will you blow on my dice?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
