He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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