This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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