so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
