ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
