Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
