do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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