Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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