i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Randomize
