using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
21 Texts That Prove All the Magic Happens in Parking Lots
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.