Texts From Last Night

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  (408): View more from California

  um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.

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  (408): um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend. http://tfl.nu/849c
  Replies (48) Good night (5919) Bad night (948)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.

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  (678): We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine. http://tfl.nu/3sll
  Replies (29) Good night (948) Bad night (4224)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.

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  (763): Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub. http://tfl.nu/2fqf
  Replies (7) Good night (4507) Bad night (1122)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi

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  (712): Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi http://tfl.nu/26u7
  Replies (3) Good night (2114) Bad night (1060)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it

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  (317): So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it http://tfl.nu/80uu
  Replies (7) Good night (5041) Bad night (1003)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body

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  (870): I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body http://tfl.nu/2hgi
  Replies (15) Good night (610) Bad night (2204)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self

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  (514): She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self http://tfl.nu/l5li
  Replies (3) Good night (824) Bad night (654)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take

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  (443): me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take http://tfl.nu/nsgg
  Replies (11) Good night (1878) Bad night (469)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"

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  (334): We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!" http://tfl.nu/8nad
  Replies (4) Good night (1617) Bad night (631)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.

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  (501): I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it. http://tfl.nu/ipd9
  Replies (5) Good night (1216) Bad night (881)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  It turns out my teeth are bleeding.

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  (+44): Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become. (+44): It turns out my teeth are bleeding. http://tfl.nu/m4n5
  Replies (4) Good night (616) Bad night (1966)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.

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  (785): I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight. http://tfl.nu/7eeo
  Replies (3) Good night (611) Bad night (602)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  You're a waste of cheezeits

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  (903): You're a waste of cheezeits http://tfl.nu/fc08
  Replies (2) Good night (602) Bad night (369)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.

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  (303): Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year. http://tfl.nu/qzma
  Replies (1) Good night (435) Bad night (384)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera

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  (413): fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera http://tfl.nu/o2wd
  Replies (3) Good night (651) Bad night (366)

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