Texts From Last Night

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  (206): View more from Washington

  That's when you crack a 10am beer

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  (206): That's when you crack a 10am beer http://tfl.nu/ppt1
  Replies (12) Good night (2775) Bad night (719)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.

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  (734): Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid. http://tfl.nu/qckj
  Replies (33) Good night (810) Bad night (4346)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt

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  (239): At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt http://tfl.nu/gv5c
  Replies (12) Good night (2521) Bad night (1113)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.

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  (509): I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120. http://tfl.nu/oklb
  Replies (19) Good night (1315) Bad night (5087)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.

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  (914): Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life. http://tfl.nu/7q9y
  Replies (7) Good night (1333) Bad night (3194)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I told you not to have sex with her on my futon

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I didnt dude, i swear!

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon

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  (952): I told you not to have sex with her on my futon (612): I didnt dude, i swear! (952): either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon http://tfl.nu/i90q
  Replies (19) Good night (2829) Bad night (6737)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh

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  (208): Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh http://tfl.nu/jb8q
  Replies (19) Good night (3151) Bad night (1506)
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  (949): View more from California

  You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.

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  (949): You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept. http://tfl.nu/3n2j
  Replies (15) Good night (3111) Bad night (736)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think

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  (217): yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think http://tfl.nu/9wa8
  Replies (15) Good night (1442) Bad night (643)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.

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  (423): Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows. http://tfl.nu/mbnt
  Replies (11) Good night (1871) Bad night (734)
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  (415): View more from California

  Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.

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  (415): Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits. http://tfl.nu/q1hp
  Replies (8) Good night (885) Bad night (1438)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Yep. How's your hangover?

  (1-916): View more from California

  It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.

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  (916): Yep. How's your hangover? (1-916): It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me. http://tfl.nu/bn8s
  Replies (8) Good night (1738) Bad night (759)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.

  (727): View more from Florida

  I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'

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  (727): I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude. (727): I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.' http://tfl.nu/bvh3
  Replies (2) Good night (990) Bad night (381)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important

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  (+44): have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important http://tfl.nu/fujo
  Replies (2) Good night (777) Bad night (361)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.

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  (256): I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies. http://tfl.nu/vlya
  Replies (2) Good night (486) Bad night (361)

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