Texts From Last Night

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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.

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  (480): I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i. http://tfl.nu/z1bk
  Replies (16) Good night (729) Bad night (4316)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?

  (1-608): View more from Wisconsin

  myspace Music?

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  (608): How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...? (1-608): myspace Music? http://tfl.nu/kj29
  Replies (98) Good night (4439) Bad night (1687)
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  (560): View more from

  I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?

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  (560): I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time? http://tfl.nu/wzlt
  Replies (71) Good night (1348) Bad night (21774)
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  (949): View more from California

  I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.

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  (949): I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar. http://tfl.nu/limh
  Replies (8) Good night (4779) Bad night (884)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.

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  (484): In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas. http://tfl.nu/7vr2
  Replies (11) Good night (3439) Bad night (1448)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.

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  (913): I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better. http://tfl.nu/gf52
  Replies (6) Good night (2003) Bad night (3348)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.

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  (905): I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now. http://tfl.nu/wxpj
  Replies (35) Good night (15590) Bad night (1675)
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  (518): View more from New York

  She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.

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  (518): She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change. http://tfl.nu/rlg4
  Replies (16) Good night (2008) Bad night (5917)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.

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  (703): Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/f3x3
  Replies (7) Good night (4420) Bad night (1272)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.

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  (313): We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love. http://tfl.nu/ypzc
  Replies (5) Good night (4441) Bad night (957)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.

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  (937): also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner. http://tfl.nu/f3ww
  Replies (14) Good night (5576) Bad night (845)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.

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  (713): The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever. http://tfl.nu/rdxs
  Replies (2) Good night (1520) Bad night (637)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.

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  (229): It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night. http://tfl.nu/etjs
  Replies (3) Good night (1417) Bad night (621)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  "Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...

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  (306): "Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning... http://tfl.nu/awmt
  Replies (0) Good night (602) Bad night (367)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.

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  (570): If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too. http://tfl.nu/6z8l
  Replies (4) Good night (509) Bad night (779)

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