Texts From Last Night

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  (516): View more from New York

  Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Omg suz!! take the unibrow off

  (516): View more from New York

  No! im just getting hammered instead

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  (516): Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg (410): Omg suz!! take the unibrow off (516): No! im just getting hammered instead http://tfl.nu/mscr
  Replies (12) Good night (2634) Bad night (477)
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  (831): View more from California

  I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.

  (1-831): View more from California

  Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable

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  (831): I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines. (1-831): Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable http://tfl.nu/f2l0
  Replies (15) Good night (3345) Bad night (584)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s

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  (631): Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s http://tfl.nu/25cx
  Replies (17) Good night (4232) Bad night (563)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.

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  (303): idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup. http://tfl.nu/dh7x
  Replies (39) Good night (633) Bad night (3486)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.

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  (404): I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life. http://tfl.nu/huxl
  Replies (168) Good night (5834) Bad night (6673)
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  (516): View more from New York

  i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.

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  (516): i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik. http://tfl.nu/oo49
  Replies (14) Good night (4186) Bad night (934)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.

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  (636): you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me. http://tfl.nu/k5hc
  Replies (4) Good night (6474) Bad night (831)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.

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  (917): someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week. http://tfl.nu/uy84
  Replies (6) Good night (3931) Bad night (987)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve

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  (580): Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve http://tfl.nu/obez
  Replies (20) Good night (5249) Bad night (1513)
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  (951): View more from California

  His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format

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  (951): His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format http://tfl.nu/g7e8
  Replies (12) Good night (5628) Bad night (883)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.

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  (407): Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room. http://tfl.nu/hh2a
  Replies (6) Good night (2657) Bad night (870)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?

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  (414): Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that? http://tfl.nu/owak
  Replies (11) Good night (1594) Bad night (1009)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.

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  (205): Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth. http://tfl.nu/rtd2
  Replies (12) Good night (1057) Bad night (2192)
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  (408): View more from California

  I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.

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  (408): I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up. http://tfl.nu/jlt9
  Replies (0) Good night (741) Bad night (394)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.

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  (719): And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing. http://tfl.nu/cuj5
  Replies (7) Good night (670) Bad night (373)

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