Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
I cockslap morals
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Randomize
Follow @tfln