he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
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all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
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I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.