the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
