i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
